Dear The Black Keys:
It has come to my attention that you might actually be pretty good. Even my friend Michi mentioned that she had seen you. I don’t recall whether she liked you or not, which is odd considering Michi is pretty opinionated about music, but whatever. When I saw you were the musical guest on SNL recently, I decided to give you a day in court. I discovered the following:
Your songs are good. No, really. Bluesy and ballsy, always a welcome combination. Personally I prefer something easier to dance to, but musically, it was a fine effort.
HOWEVER. You kind of seem like egomaniacs. Look, you are a two piece band, guitar and drums. I get it. The backup guys are just hired guns. But this bullshit about making them stand WAY behind you AND off to the side? Kind of a dick move, if you ask me. I mean, after the show did you just hand them bus tickets back to Phoenix or wherever while you two run around NYC with Jason Sudekis getting drunk on imported beer and hitting on models? Yeah, I thought so.