Slow News Day
around here so let’s check out what’s happening in the South of France. I’m talking about Cannes, y’all! Every year about this time, actors, directors and looky loos from the world over gather together to
talk shit about what people are wearing celebrate film! But that’s for fine, upstanding people who drink with their pinky fingers sticking out. Not trash like us! Let’s talk some shit about the clothes, all right?
Poor Diane Kruger here got tangled up in the shower curtain on her way out of the hotel. Look, I think her hair’s still wet! But at least she had the good sense to throw on some big ass diamond earrings with her shower curtain.
Tilda Swinton won an Oscar a few years ago, but she is too polite to mention it. Not that she has to, since she’s dressed like an Oscar statuette.
I don’t know 1) who this is 2) why she is even there or 3) why she seems to have wings coming out of her back. I only know one thing for sure: she is probably going to be late for her ice dancing lesson.
Frieda Pinto is beautiful, truly. What possessed her to wear something that makes her look flat chested and hippy, I have no idea. She seems like a sweet girl. Maybe she is just giving the plain girls a fighting chance.
I was going to say something about Diane Kruger’s naughty cheerleader laceup dress, but all I can think is, “Dude, when did Ewan McGregor start turning into David Bowie?”
And finally, here is the Belle of the Ball, the Queen of the Prom, the freaking Goddess of the Cannes Film Festival. It is…74 year old Jane Fonda!
Holy crap, can you believe how HOT she looks? I LOVE this dress, her body is killer and I love the “suck on this, bitches” look she is throwing down. Bow down, y’all.