Color me asleep. Morrissey is retiring, people. Apparently he is concerned that he is no longer as smoking hot as he once was. Here’s the quote:
“I am slightly shocked to have gone as far as I have. This is my 30th year, and I’ve aged a lot recently, which is bit distressing for me, as it must be for everyone. The body changes shape and there’s nothing you can do about it. Do I continue as a modern day Andy Williams? I take one hour at a time. We will all probably be blown up by the Syrian government soon, anyway, so it hardly matters in the great scheme of things.”
Well, he’s an entertaining old nutter, I’ll give him that. I liked the Smiths a lot, but Johnny Marr the guitarist was the one who made my dark little heart go pitter pat. I mean, look at Morrissey back in the day.
Just Not. My. Type. You know? Nope. But Johnny Marr?
Mmmm, yeah. But I am not just some shallow groupie. (Yes, I am.) I like Marr over Morrissey because he is a gifted, innovative guitarist who is also freaking gorgeous. Ahem. Morrissey is a whiny, pretentious turd who writes lyrics like this:
Girlfriend in a coma
I know, I know it’s serious
Riiiiight. He just wears me out. So let’s see who looks best today, since I am not shallow, nor a groupie (yes, I am.) First Morrissey:
Uhhh yeah. He looks like your weird uncle who always wears the same dirty t-shirt to Thanksgiving dinner. Not so great. Let’s check in with Marr:
Ding ding ding. I think we gots a winner.