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Lumpy Rutherford

June 13, 2013

Soooo, today I had my third mammogram in five days.  And an ultrasound.  I haven’t had had this many hands on my tits since Spring Break my sophomore year of college.

The technician was the same one I saw a few days ago.  She tried to reassure me, saying that I probably only had to come back because I have “lumpy breasts.”  Huh.  I guess she wasn’t valedictorian of her reassurance class because that did not make me feel better.

I have been the recipient of  several breast descriptions in the past, almost all of them positive.  Lumpy is without question the freaking worst.

So I said, “Is lumpy a synonym for bodacious?  Because that’s usually what I hear after somebody gets to second base.”  And she laughed.

Small victories, people.  Small victories.


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