Soooo, today I had my third mammogram in five days. And an ultrasound. I haven’t had had this many hands on my tits since Spring Break my sophomore year of college.
The technician was the same one I saw a few days ago. She tried to reassure me, saying that I probably only had to come back because I have “lumpy breasts.” Huh. I guess she wasn’t valedictorian of her reassurance class because that did not make me feel better.
I have been the recipient of several breast descriptions in the past, almost all of them positive. Lumpy is without question the freaking worst.
So I said, “Is lumpy a synonym for bodacious? Because that’s usually what I hear after somebody gets to second base.” And she laughed.
Small victories, people. Small victories.